Continual Journey of Physical Healing

Much has happened in the past 5 months that obviously needs to be documented & written. Research shows that if we will write things down, we'll remember so much more than if we don't. And the way my memory has been acting lately, I'd BETTER write things down!
First of all, I must mention that shortly after having the radical double mastectomy I was told by my breast surgeon that I need to avoid "soy" as much as possible because of it's weak estrogenic effect on our bodies. Since the breast tumor I had was found to be "estrogen receptive" (meaning I had an estrogen dominance issue), I then had to become one who seeks to be free of estrogen increasing foods and/or drinks in my daily diet.
In case you hadn't noticed or you just don't read ingredients in food very often, soy is in SO many products! I can't tell you how many times I've bought something and forgot to read the ingredients on it and then while eating it I decide suddenly to read the ingredients and my mouth drops when I find some type of soy listed there! Whether it's soy sauce, soy lecithin, soy protein or soybean oil you'll find soy in at least 90% of any boxed products we normally buy. Now I did find out that FERMENTED soy and sprouted soy are free from having the estrogenic effect on our bodies, so that's okay when you find that listed.
So after adjusting my shopping to being more soy-free, which really took a lot of time & focus, I discover that dairy was a big contributer to the estrogen dominance issue. This revelation occurred after finding out about a meningioma (benign) tumor in my head right between my brain & skull. Meningiomas are known to be estrogen receptive, therefore once again caused by this problem of estrogen dominance! Can I just tell you how ANGRY I was against anything that increased estrogen in me? EXTREMELY ANGRY! So when I discovered that dairy was a pretty big culprit to the problem - I was so sad I went in the bathroom and cried for at least 15 minutes I think. You see, I was in love with a drink made by Bolthouse Farms, it was a protein "Mocha Cappuccino" drink. Oh! It was SO YUMMY! I drank one almost everyday for at least two years!
But when I finally came to the obvious conclusion of the fact that it takes high estrogen levels in the cows to even produce the milk, I knew I had to let it go, even the organic "hormone & antibiotic free" dairy. That was May of this year and I've adapted pretty well to not getting to have dairy. I found some butter called "Earth Balance" that is specifially "SOY-FREE". Be CAREFUL though it's SO easy to pick up the wrong one, you MUST make sure it is free from soy.
Since I opted out of the "chemo & hormonal therapy" route, I had decided to clean up my diet the best way I knew and rely on God to show me how to eat and take the supplements He showed me to take. In June or so, a close friend recommended that I see her naturopathic doctor that she & many others were very pleased with his direction. I felt strongly that I should follow after that idea. Long story short, I ended up seeing this doctor.
That first day visiting this doctor I got to see a "Live Blood Analysis" of my blood on a color TV screen. This proved to be EXTREMELY enlightening for me! I saw all my healthy blood cells traveling around, the nurse even confirmed that they were very healthy. BUT what she pointed out to me I didn't expect. She asked me if I saw the clusters there, there & there. I did. Then she zoomed in closer to them. It was fungus - in particular - it was Candida/yeast. I actually already deep down had an inclination that I had an issue with it. Many years ago, I read a mini book by Dr. Don Colbert about Candida yeast issues and how to be free from the overgrowth of it. I knew I had some sort of issue with it and thought someday I would need to do the "Candida diet," but I knew at that point in my life- that diet looked IMPOSSIBLE for me. I couldn't even imagine restricting myself to that point, I just couldn't see it at all.
But there I was with a totally different perspective. I had let go of soy in February and then let go of dairy just two months earlier. Suddenly, I KNEW I could do this! I can see how gracious God was in preparing me with the baby steps of letting go of things I needed to. Now I was ready for the biggie! So far, I've been on this Candida diet for over two months now and still going strong! No breads, no sweets (even fruits & sweet veggies!), no sauces, condiments or dressings! Only two servings of grains per day and 3 meat servings.
This specially restricted diet for me will continue for at least one more month but thank God it won't last forever! Afterwards I will then enter Phase 2 of the diet. I will be slowly reintroducing certain pieces of fruit back into my diet and then wait for three days to see if any symptoms appear. I'll research more about that the closer I get to that day!
Also in my path to healing I've learned about the body's pH level and what an important role this plays in our health everyday. I found out that I was quite acidic. In order for cancer to grow and reproduce in our bodies, it needs two things- an acidic environment and fungus! Having an alkaline pH level in all areas of our body is essential to be cancer free! Now, of course, I do realize that all of us have cancer cells in our bodies. The point is that we don't want them joining together and growing out of control.

The End of a Shredded Mind

I realize it's been a LONG time since I've written anything. So much has been going on - but I know there's really no point in making excuses because the truth is, I will end up doing whatever I put in a place of priority.

Right now in my life there is so much that needs to be done around the house and just taking care of daily tasks that just ends up getting put off. I really feel quite OVERburdened. I have pressured myself and stressed myself to no end for years to get the tasks on my list done. I'm finally realizing that I simply wasn't created to be running in a such a fast pace. Some people are quick thinkers and get things done quickly & easily. But the older I've gotten, the slower I seem to process tasks in my mind and carry things out.

The distractions and interruptions we incur with having a larger family seem to increase with every year our kids get older! I discovered that it gets my mind into the HABIT of jumping from one train of thought to another. Then before I know it, my mind is trying to go 5 different directions at one time, like those old typewriters when you hit too many keys at one time and the letter bars get clunked altogether & then you have to unclunk them! Just like the typewriter I've just gotten stuck, shredded & ineffective. And if you get in that situation over & over enough times - pretty soon - you may not realize it but you've subtly given up and then just procrastinated whatever it was you needed to do. Now I've procrastinated so much that I have unfinished projects all over the house and cannot seem to decide which one is the higher priority! So I basically just give up and move on to the "urgent" things that MUST get done (you know, the ones that SCREAM at you!).

Now I know most of my close friends would make excuses for me and say "well, you've been through so much this year - you have to give yourself a break." Well, I do! But I'm not gonna make excuses for the lack of focus going on in my mind. Jesus died to give me the mind of Christ and by golly I'm gonna fight to receive that mind!!! I know Jesus' mind was a focused mind. He was completely focused on God's will. He didn't let anything or anyone distract Him God's purpose for Him.

I'm just so tired of trying to tell one story to someone and going off into 3 bunny trails and then an hour later remember that I never got to the point of the story! Somebody tell me if this is what ADD is! Actually, I've been like this most of my life, but either it's got worse or maybe I'm just noticing it MORE than ever before. But it definitely has been affecting my daily life like never before. My productivity is at it's WORST than I've ever seen. And it's not just because I'm not saying no to different activities or doing things for people. For the most part, I don't do much except for handle home & family. But lately in the last 3 yrs, it's just been WAY too much for me. Thing is, I've handled SO much more than this with abundant grace.

With God's help I will get to bottom of this. But I really needed to get this written out and I haven't been doing well with journaling- I might write something once a month or less...... though that's not where I want to be. All in all, I choose to trust God and if I continue in this process, He'll lead me out. I am confident of that. Because He was, IS and always will be FAITHFUL!

I apologize if this has a more negative tone, but this is how repentance occurs. In order to change, first we must SEE the need for change to get fed up with the way things are. That's where I'm at! Oh God keep stirring me up! Don't stop convicting me and showing me the truth about myself! I need it! I need You to pull me up out of the pit of distraction, confusion & undecisiveness. Joel 2:12 "Therefore now," says the Lord, "Turn and keep on coming to Me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning [until every hindrance is removed and the broken fellowship is restored]."

(Continue with Joel 2:13-14 for more good reading)